"Dear Dr. Belanger,  Thank you for your teaching ministry.  I need insight and prayer.  My husband has cheated on me with another woman. He has asked me to forgive him and to try to work things out.  I feel so betrayed and bitter.  I desire a divorce.  But deep down in my heart I want to do God's will.  Do I have grounds for divorce based on Matthew 19... Or should I trust the Lord to heal my broken heart and marriage?  Thank you.  Your Sister In Christ,  L.S., Florida "

Many Christians are continually having marital difficulties serious enough to contemplate divorcing. Among all other sins, divorce is one of the most impacting negative influences on the family, society and within the Church.  This is why divorce was never part of God's perfect plan to resolve difficulties within marriages. 

From a biblical perspective, divorce is permitted in cases of infidelity but is never prescribed in God's Word under any circumstance.  Divorce is permitted because of the hardness of one's heart toward their spouse (Matthew 19:8).  One's heart can become so bitter resulting in hardness (void of vitality, stiff, unbendable) that reconciling is nearly impossible due to the cause and reaction to the cause of the marital breakdown.

While divorce appears to be allowable, it is never prescribed nor encouraged in scripture.  And for good reason.  The damage alone from divorce is often un-ending.  A Christian who contemplates divorce should be very careful in acting out their desire to dissolve a marriage, fully understanding the life long consequences of such an action.  God used the experience of the prophet Hosea who was married to an habitually unfaithful wife and why divorce would be detrimental for both parties.  Even with full knowledge of his wife's infidelity; Hosea waited for his wife to repent... illustrating that God was long-suffering, not willing that any should perish.

The answer to any difficulty that a marriage may be consumed by is found in and by God's Word.  Only Christ can truly empathize with the intense emotion that one experiences from the hurt realized by an un-faithful spouse. And as demonstrated in the book of Hosea, the prospect of healing and hope is very real.  Healing begins and continues with meditation on God's mercy and forgiveness.  As difficult as it is for one  to reconcile emotionally, physically and spiritually  to their spouse... if they purpose to glorify God...  they will find the grace and hope to reconcile (Hebrews 4:16).  God is able. Need biblical counseling to help restore your marriage?  Click Here...

Sincerely, Dr. Arthur Belanger

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